Once upon a time there were two young women who embarked on an adventure from Somerville, MA to Auburn, ME. These two young women had a special mission: to return safely to Maine with presents, belongings, and the adorable kitty, Miss Frank Zappa Mittens. The young women packed the small white car full and prepared to load Miss Mittens into her cat carrier. This cat carrier is made of vinyl and folds up. "That can't be too reliable" said Maria. "Should be fine" Aimee assured her. After one escape attempt due to a forgotten zipper, Miss Mittens was securely in her carrier, tucked in the back seat. Aimee and Maria began their journey, in hopes of beating an on coming snow storm. They were making excellent time, and having a blast, despite Miss Mittens' sad meows from the back seat.

Upon approaching Maine, Maria suggested they stop in Kennebunk, so she could grab her things and give Miss Mittens a chance to run around a bit. "Great idea!" said Aimee. When they reached Maria's cottage, Miss Mittens ran around and seemed to enjoy a few moments of freedom. Maria went to load some more things into the trunk, only to discover that the trunk would not latch. She and Aimee fiddled with the latch to no avail. "We;re going to have to tie it down," said Maria. There were no bungee cords, but there was some rope tied around a car cover. "We can use this, said Aimee." Then the young women strategically tied the trunk closed. They loaded Miss Mittens back into her carrier and proceeeded to head to Auburn.

About half a mile down the road, they hear a distinct "RIIIIIP" sound from the back seat. "She can't have gotten out of there, could she?" said Aimee. Suddenly, they noticed Miss Mittens was loose in the car! She had ripped out of her carrier. Maria pulled over immediately. Aimee tried to hold onto the kitty, but knew that wouldn't work for too long. "There's the box the presents were in, we can try to put her in there." She emptied the presents box and put Miss Mittens inside. Not a few seconds later, Miss Mittens popped out of the box. Meanwhile, both Aimee and Maria are losing control in fits of belly laughter.  "Guess we're going to have to stay in Kennebunk tonight" said Maria.  They turn the car around and head back to Maria's house.

Maria does not have cats of her own, and thus her place is not cat-ready. "What can we use for a litter box?" asked Aimee. The present box was available and Maria had some old newspapers. "This will have to do" said Maria. Once Miss Mittens was settled, Aimee and Maria went to the store to purchase cat food, a cat carrier that's not easy to escape from, munchies and a bottle of wine. Spirits were still high, despite the misfortunes of the evening, and wine and Christmas movies seemed like a good idea.

The next morning, Aimee and Maria awoke to quite the wallop of a snow storm. "Figures," sighed Maria. It seemed like another in the series of unfortunate events. Miss Mittens seemed to be in a tizzy- she had not used her make-shift litter box and was meowing quite a lot. Having done lots of traveling, this came to no surprise to the girls. They decided to pack up once again, and head out into the snow to continue the last leg of their journey. While Maria was brushing her teeth, she noticed the kitty digging at her bathroom rug. "Oh no," she thought. That's when Miss Mittens pooped on her nice green bathroom rug. "Oh no! I am so sorry!" said Aimee. Maria couldn't be mad. She knew Miss Mittens had probably been uncomfortable, plus, she needed an excuse to replace that rug anyway.  They cleaned up the mess, packed up Miss MIttens and headed out into the snow.

The roads were slick that morning, and the snow was coming down quickly. Miss Mittens was secure, but the trunk was still just tied closed and bobbing up and down for the duration of the trip. About halfway through the journey, they noticed the snow had stopped; the storm was moving north and they had driven out of it. "Well, at least that's something!" said Maria. They continued their journey, made it to Auburn safely and moved Miss Mittens into her temporary new digs (with a litter box) and the next day Maria got her trunk fixed. It was quite an eventful series of misadventures, funny at the time, and in retelling. The moral of the story is: Its better to laugh at situations like this, because, what can you do? No sense in getting mad, especially when you're with someone you adore!

The End


Merry Christmas to all!

-I have the greatest friends in the world. Even though we're all sort of scattered, its good to know we can all come together and its like old times.

-As much as I love small town Maine, I was built for city life.

-Providence RI is a great place to be.

-Brown University is gorgeous.

-I am scared to death of not getting into grad school/ out of Maine.

-Regardless of whether or not I get in somewhere, I am leaving Maine ASAP.

-I'm happier than I have been in a long long time.

-I enjoy being busy- I just got a second job.

-Money isn't everything. Its worth spending money I don't have on gas to see people who make me happy.

-I've become even more involved at church and I love it. I'm going to be co-teaching a confirmation class.

-I have a lot to learn.

But I think its a great idea:

tell me something anonymously:

a secret,

something that troubles you,

something you've never told anyone else,

what you're afraid of,

something you want to say to someone but you struggle to (including me, if i make that list),

the thing or person that makes you feel most alive,

what breaks your heart,

the scariest thing you've ever done,

what makes you happy,

who you love,

and on and on.

These are the grad schools I am thinking of applying to, in order of how much I like them. I am still doing research, but these are my top ones:

UConn
Louisiana State University
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Boston University
Simmons

UConn has such an attractive TA/stipend opportunity and all sorts of grants/awards/fellowships. Its only 3 hrs away and leaves me close-ish to my all you Massachusetts lovelies! :) Also, Eric Brown (aka my favorite prof ever, who is helping me with all this) has a contact in the Renaissance Lit program. Hello connections!

LSU seems like the program is great, but I am nervous about things like cost of living, and I wouldn't be guaranteed the TA position. But- Mardi Gras (and Bon Temps for all you True Blood fans; maybe I can find some sexy vamps).

I still need to research Brown, UNC-Chapel Hill, University of Florida, Emory, and UVirginia. I looked into UCLA, but I am not so sure about it yet. I'd more or less need to be guaranteed a good TA position and a stipend that I can live on.

I am hoping to have the pool narrowed shortly. Then the next item on the list is the GRE- both of them (general and subject matter). UGH. $280 of pure torture.

Day 28: Still raining. Cannot see while driving. Constant grey sky and frizzy hair. Forgot what sun looks like. Crops are drowning. No food. Could be last entry- may float away.


Seriously summer, WTF?! Its JULY 2. This is unacceptable!

Its my birthday today!

Though, despite that exciting fact-  I have mixed emotions about it. For one thing, its raining, and it has been raining non-stop for weeks it seems. Did I move to Forks and not know it? (Twilight reference- don't judge me) Sadly, there are no gorgeous vampires here.  The past few June 19ths have been sunny, as I remember. It seems fitting that this one should be rainy, however.

Its the 23rd year of my existence- someone once told me 23 is your most creative year. Creative- maybe not so much. Turning point? For sure. I actually feel different this birthday- for many reasons. I have changed/am changing. I cannot easily describe it to you, or even put a finger on it myself. But I like it. Its challenging, for sure, but I am welcoming and embracing it.

23- this feels like the first year of the rest of my life.

Bring it on.

Today Shane and I are going to sign the loan application for our house. Its all happening very fast! I am still trying to figure out when I became an adult!  A very wise friend of mine suggested I bring a bottle of Tums to the closing because "Signing those papers is an hour of such stunning adulthood that it can give you a bellyache." Total truth.

I have failed to deliver pictures of said house (I know I know I'm sorry) but here are some highlights:

- Blue house, 2 car garage (yay no more scraping!!)
-2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, walk-in closet in master bedroom (room for my shoes;I'm sold!)
-Finished basement (complete with pool table that the sellers are leaving)
-1 acre of yardage, 1 acre of woods- fire pit in far back yard (sellers are leaving a riding lawn mower. score)

There are a million more things I love about the house- namely the fact that its a HOUSE and we won't have to pay rent.  And the sellers are amazing- family friends. it really is all about WHO you know. Its obviously a huge responsibility, but we are definitely ready. The closing date is set for March 31st. :)

Husband- Check
Job- Check
HOUSE- In progress

Tell me about the good things in your life, kids. :)

<3 Me

We are buying a house! :)

Signed the contract tonight- closing in about 30 days.

OMFGSAUCE excited!

I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I'm stressed about work and grad school coming on quick. There's even a lot of drama at church, what with our priest being asked to step down and myself being one of the people to "twist the knife", as it were. I mean, I cannot even escape it at church- the one place that's always peaceful and friendly and calming is now wrought with tension and guilt and sadness- and all during Advent; a time for celebration and rejoicing. And we've been having land-lady issues, but it did spark conversation about bumping up our plans to buy a house. So that's good. But naturally, it causes more stress.

I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. Sometimes I take on too much. You think I would have learned by now, as I've been doing this my whole life.

We are having a party, and I look forward to some fun times with friends. And I have Christmas Day and Boxing Day off, but what I really need is a vacation. I've got one coming in January, and I look forward to it so much. I'm heading down to Massachusetts from the 7th through the 11th. Its good- I feel like I need to get out for a bit- just hit the road and drive and blast some music and think about nothing but the fun I am going to have, and the people I am going to see whom I miss terribly.

I will be ok- this is just another bump in the road during this crazy time of year. Thank-goodness I have a wonderful husband to make my life a little more sane.

Help.

agnosticje

Let's be honest here, the reason you all want gay marriage so much is to normalize the practice of homosexuality so you can hopefully draw more people into your pool of sexual partners. That's the beginning and the end of it and you know it.
Recommend:    (21)(22)[Report Abuse]

viscount1953 11/6/2008 4:51:07 AM agnosticjew11/6/2008 4:01:42 AM Let's be honest here, the reason you all want gay marriage so much is to normalize the practice of homosexuality so you can hopefully draw more people into your pool of sexual partners. That's the beginning and the end of it and you know it.************************ Yep!! That's it!! You found us out! Did you also know that we give away a new toaster oven for every recruit?! The only question left is: are you naturally that stupid or do you practice?!

I found these comments on this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/06/BAT413VCFF.DTL&type=gaylesbian

I read through just about all the pages of comments. Its a really interesting study in sociology. I encourage you to read through some.

I also learned today that another proposition was on the ballot in California- it had to do with animal rights. It passed. How is it that we let an animal rights proposition pass, but could not show support for our gay/lesbian/trans brothers and sisters?

No matter what your religion, or party affiliation, or name, or skin color or shoe size, you have to at least believe in the golden doctrine that is is 'do unto others as you would have done unto yourself' or if you're into God; the second commandment (only one below the first and great commandment) "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.' Forget what being Democratic is all about, or what being constitutional is all about- shouldn't we focus on what being a human is all about?

Mostly I just keep telling my optimistic little self that someday soon things will change. We've elected an African-American president- something many people never thought would happen. And while racism and sexism and all the other 'isms' and hate that plague our world will never completely go away, I have to remember that slavery was abolished and women  have the right to vote (thank the good Lord) and that someday we will look back on this time and think about how ridiculous this whole issue was.

This past long weekend, Graugard came to stay with is Fri-Mon. Sunday night, Kellie and Ethan stopped in. It was a mini-reunion! It was amazing. I only wish some others hadn't been away and/or working, otherwise I would have definitely hosted an old school style herd gathering. ;-)

We looked at pictures from high school and gossiped about who is doing what. It was nice. 3 of my favorites all at the same place at the same time. Hadn't happened since the wedding. Aimee, Xtina, Matty P- wish you could have been there!


Kel and Ethan left Sunday night- Matt left Monday morning. I cried. Its hard not living close to everyone. Matt kept trying to convince Shane and I to move to CT. I earnestly contemplated it!

Graugard and Shane and I went to a Pirates game- they won 6-2. Which is more than I can say for the sox, who lost terribly that night (Saturday, I think it was). But! We are the comeback kings, and I have total faith. And if they don't make it, I won't be terribly disappointed, as I will once again be able to sleep and not stay up watching baseball.

These days its either baseball or the debates that keep me awake. We've seen the last one, now we just have to wait and then go out and vote.

Most random post. But whatever- I'm bored at work. Which is a story I will save for another entry.

After much research, we present the annual aeronautical engineers report on the theory of Santa:

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish & Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total -378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with. This is due to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits/second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has .001 second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles/household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles; not counting stops to do what most of us do at lease once every 31 hours, plus eating etc. So Santa's sleigh must be moving at 650 miles/second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles/second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles/hour.

If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2% milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000 / 3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is 2950.7 tons.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 lb.), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300lb. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see #1) can pull 10 TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with 8, or even 9, reindeer. We need 214,200. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. This is four times the weight of the ocean-liner Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles/second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within .00426 of a second. Meanwhile, Santa, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb. Santa, being very conservative in terms of guessing Santa's weight, would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 lb. of force. If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

A Merry Christmas to one and all!!

"Hello, all you lumpy ladies and gentlemen! Are you tired of having green teeth? Are you tired of running around hiding your ferocious, beautiful pink teeth? Do you wish you could have soft teeth like Celine Dion? Wish no longer! For only 2000 dollars and 0 cents you can have fancy teeth today! Simply, before you go to bathroom each night, apply this sparkly substance to your ear. It has the wonderful taste of iguana! You will feel it working right away by the warm sniffing sensation. By the next morning, this square substance will have dissolved away your bitchy old teeth! Finally, coat your gums with maple syrup and hold your new teeth (included in this round kit at no extra charge!) firmly in place for 43 minutes. It's as easy as that! Don't delay! Buy today! (Side effects may include walking, sneezing, and AIDS.)"

walking, sneezing and AIDS. haha

Wow I really need something to do...

That's Ophelia. Precious. Pictures are from my cell phone. Not the best quality, but you get the idea.

And this is her myspace picture because its totally 'I'm so emo/look how pretty I am":



I love her and she's spoiled rotten.

<3

I am terrible at live journal. If updating my live journal was an Olympic event, I'd be the guy in the pool in lane 7 who watched Michael Phelps lap him TWICE and came in last place with a time of 50.3 seconds in the hundred meter (which is dismal when someone like Phelps is in the pool). ..you get the point.

That being said, allow me to update you on some things:

Shane and I recently celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. My how time flies.
We hiked Mt. Katahdin. Not the most fun experience of our lives, but breathtaking views made it worth the pain.
There's a new addition to the family, Ophelia our 9 week old kitten. She's adorable and rambunctious and awesome. (pictures will be available when I find the camera cord)

I'm still waiting to hear from Northern Arizona University about grad school for this spring. Don't worry, we're not moving to AZ- they have a great distance learning (online) program. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

EDIT: I found out this morning that I have been admitted. NAU grad student spring 2009! YAY

Work is busy- in February I will have been here at USM for one year. I am officially flabbergasted at how quickly time goes by. I like it well enough- the people I work with a great, but I am keeping my eyes open for better things. I think I found my dream job, but since I don't want to jinx it, (I haven't formally applied yet) you'll just have to wait for more updates (which I promise will be more frequent).

Those of you in school; good luck, have fun.  Aub/Lew kids- Shane and I are living in Lewiston and we love entertaining- I'll cook for you! ;-)

<3

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 6 items.
You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it?

1. Bakery: Fresh bagels
2. Produce: Cucumber
3. Meat: Boneless skinless chicken breast
4. Frozen: French vanilla ice cream
5. Dry goods: whole wheat spaghetti
6. Dairy: 1% milk

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day..
What 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. USM Financial Aid, this is Maria, how may I help you?
2. I love you
3.www.usm.maine.edu/fin/awards.htm
4.Seriously, sometimes I wonder about people
5. A nap would be good

What 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn’t get to do, you probably wouldn’t be in the best mood?

1. Having a glass of wine
2. Sleeping
3. Lunch

Sweet, you just scored a whole day to yourself.
What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Watching soap operas
2. Cleaning
3. Shopping
4. Reading
5. Driving

We’re going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it’ll have to be a quick visit.
What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1.Monkey
2.Elephants
3. Penguins

You just scored tickets to the taping of any live show that comes on t.v. of your choice.

1. Big Brother Live Eviction night!

You’re hungry for ice cream. I’ll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone:

1. French Vanilla

Somebody stole your purse.
In order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it.

1. Paisley checkbook
2. Umbrella
3. Zip pouch with tums, advil, tampons, gum, lip gloss, tide stick
4. chapstick
5. cell phone

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let’s pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

1. Screen Writer
2. Senator
3. Psychologist
4.CEO of some big-time do-gooder company

If you could go back and talk to the old you when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?